


Dear Universe

by Sleepless_in_Starbucks



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Like, M/M, Suicide reference, also guys this made me soft so I hope you like it, as in no suicide occurs, barely even there, in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it sense, in the vaguest sense, one character is implied to have thought about it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 12:37:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20874326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sleepless_in_Starbucks/pseuds/Sleepless_in_Starbucks
Summary: Logan doesn't have a lot to love at the moment. Other than stars and cats.But if he'll give it time, the universe will still be there, waiting for his second letter...





	Dear Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Based on: https://ridinkskinned.com/post/168343082469/inkskinned-dear-universe-hello-i-am-writing

_ Dear universe, _

_ _ _ Hello. I am writing to inform you that you did a good job on the stars. Also on cats. _

_ _ _ Yours respectfully, _

_ _ _ Me. _

Logan glared at the note, simple and small and neatly scrawled on the back of an old envelope. It was stupid. It was rather sentimental as well. But some days there were only a few good things in the world, and on those days Logan had learned it was better to offer any resistance to the current than none.

And today, if all he loved was the stars and his cat, then it was better to remember that then not. With a sigh, Logan tossed the envelope in a drawer.

Well. He had tried that. Good thing he’d never have to do it again.

~~

_ Dear universe, _

Logan’s hand paused. This was as silly as when he had done it five years ago. The fact that he had stumbled over the envelope on accident while deciding what was going to come on the move and he had been struck by the urge to give it a proper follow-up was illogical and foolish.

And yet he had gotten the pen, gotten some paper, and begun the letter. Maybe it was foolish. Maybe that was alright.

He lowered the pen back to the paper.

_ I hope you are well since I last wrote. I assume things have changed for you. They have for me. I still love the stars. And while I still do love cats, I find a pull, now, to dogs as well. _

As if to punctate his point, there was a woof down the hallway behind him, followed by a quiet hiss and someone laughing. Logan smiled.

_ I fear I left out a lot of things when I first wrote. Even back then, even on my worst days, I do believe there was more light than just the stars and cats, though they were (and always have been) quite bright enough to shine for themselves. It is largely thanks to them I am here now, in fact. Them and one other. _

The laughing died down, but Logan could still hear him moving, closing boxes and taking them outside. Logan could see him, too- how he always looked like he was being illuminated by sunlight, how his grin was bright enough to blind you, how he swayed his hips as he walked like he owned the place. He didn’t look real. And yet he was moving stuff out Logan’s crummy old apartment.

_ The road there’s been… less than simple, however, to tread. I’ve stumbled. I’ve lost things that were important to me. I’ve lost hope. I’ve lost the light that metaphorically guides. I’ve almost given up more times than I’d care to recall. But as grim as the path has been to follow, I’ve learned a lot on it too. _

Logan paused again, listening to the almost inaudible murmur of wind outside the window and the light humming of the other man weaving into his room, the sound of the latter somehow going into his ears and making its way to his heart, where it happily settled.

_ I’ve realized that we’re all children, really, no matter how old we get. We’re taking the little pieces we have and trying to build them into something beautiful, something, I suppose, worthy of you. Art and music, stories and poetry, dramas and plays, laughter and love and humanity. We looked at you and took pictures, studied them and magnified them and loved them. I have one of them as my desktop background. You looked even more extraordinary than usual that day. _

There were more scraping noises in the background, furniture being moved. The humming had progressed to whistling. Soon enough it would be singing, and if Logan wasn’t careful, soon enough there’d be two voices holding that chorus. A few years ago, that would have been Hell. But at the thought of it today, Logan just smiled bigger.

_ I think… no, I am certain that you did a good job, universe; on the stars and everything they became, on space and the planets- on us humans, too. And, yes, oh yes things are terrible, but you made an innumerable amount of things worth loving, worth writing to you about, worth speaking of… worth thanking you for. And you gave us all a spark, and as long as it’s taken me to feel secure about mine, I’m using it now, to be fierce about what I care about and those I care for, and to be eternally gentle to them as well. _

The whistling melted into singing, just as Logan suspected. He strained his ears just the slightest before he identified the tune- A Whole New World. Logan remembered the first time the other had sung that song to him, so quietly and so unlike his usual dramatics, gently kneeling down next to a Logan who thought he had any chance hiding even his nearly silent sobs in a theater where every sound was reflected every which way…

_ So... hello. I’ve come to amend my previous memo. I’m writing to let you know you did a good job on the stars, on cats and dogs and the lizard that is currently kept illegally in my apartment but will shortly be kept legally in my house. And universe, I hope you’re watching, because some of the people you created? They’re great, universe; they’re amazing and wonderful and full of love- endlessly sharing love and eternally worthy of receiving it. And despite all the times I’ve lost it along the way, despite how badly Life wishes to take it from me, those people give me hope. _

_ _ “Hey, Lo-love of my life.” Logan turned from his paper, towards the other man in his house- towards someone he fully believed to be a fallen star personified, with glitter in his eyes and love in his every touch, and a bright, shiny ring on his finger that Logan loved seeing so new but also couldn’t wait to watch it slowly grow weathered, old, worn and loved.

“Yes, Roman?” He asked, tone unnaturally fond, even to just address the man he loved. Oh, it was foolish, yes, but that was alright.

Roman jerked a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ve finished with the living room. If you’re done with whatever nerdy, non-helpful thing you’re doing, I thought we could go get lunch?”

“I’m just writing a letter. It’s not that nerdy.” Logan retaliated. Not that he really minded, given he was still smiling.

Roman was smiling too as he came over and looped his arms around Logan, leaning down so they were decently at the same height from where Logan was seated. He didn’t try to glance at the letter, instead keeping his much-too-adoring gaze centered on Logan. “Still not very helpful.”

“Well I don’t keep you around just to be eye candy, my dear.”

“No, you keep me around because you love me.” Roman said, pressing a kiss to Logan’s cheek before pulling away. “I’m going to start the car. Be out soon, or I’m leaving without you.”

“It will take you at least ten minutes just to locate the car in the lot.” Logan responded cheekily. “I believe I have time.”

“Not my fault I can’t remember where I put things.” Roman said as he wandered back out, muttering to himself in his stage voice about an ungratefully perfect husband and too many cars being coloured red. Logan chuckled to himself and rose his pen one last time.

_ And through them, universe, that’s you. That’s how the stars sing. _

_ _ _ Yours respectfully, _

_ _ _ Me. _

Logan folded the paper efficiently, slipping it into the envelope and slipping the flap in, shutting it. He left it on his desk, knowing he’d be back for it.

And one of these days, he’d show it to Roman, show it to the man who was the reason behind the majority of the list, who was the reason behind why Logan felt the need to write a second letter to the universe, who was very possibly the reason why Logan was even around to write that second letter.

And maybe that day would be tomorrow. And maybe that day wouldn’t be for another two dozen years. But he would; one day he would and he would only hope it could mean even half as much to Roman as it did to him, could only hope that the emotions he was still struggling to healthily express would be a fraction as clear to Roman as they were to him.

One day he would, and maybe on that day he’d write another letter to the universe, and maybe he’d write a few even before then.

Because Logan had a feeling there were going to be a lot more things worth thanking the universe for with every day that passed.


End file.
